Week 3 Feedback Strategies

(Photo from Cat Planet)

I don't actually feel that way about feedback, but my cat is going to the vet this afternoon to check his thyroid levels and he definitely feels this way (or will when he realizes what I meant by "we're going on an adventure this afternoon"!)

Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback

I really enjoyed this article. I think feedforward makes a lot of sense and would be more useful to most people than feedback. I can absolutely apply this to my situation I mentioned before with the girl who leaves criticism on my fan fiction. She tends to ask why I did something, and point out the reasons why she thinks it is wrong, and what I should have done instead. Once a chapter is published on one or more websites, and people have read it, I am not likely to go back and rewrite something unless I feel strongly about it. So giving me advice on future directions I can take the story in can be really helpful, but most people don't go back and change things after it's published. Even if it were something that were likely to go through revisions like our projects for this class, it doesn't seem like it would be helpful to most of us to get negative feedback on what we've done so far. Feedforward sounds more like helping someone brainstorm ideas for what comes next, and I really like that. I also like that it sounds quick and efficient.

The Difference Between Praise and Feedback

After reading this article I feel in the middle about the two sides. When my daughter shows me her art, I most definitely tell her that it's good. But I also tell her what I like about the technique she used, and ask questions about it if she's done something different than usual. If she asks for advice on what seems off about a drawing, I will try to help her see what she could do differently in a future drawing. But only if she asks for it. I also will share things I know about different art mediums she could try if she was trying to achieve a certain look and I happen to know a way she might go about it. This weekend she plans to borrow my derwent inktense pencils because I told her how cool it was to use them with water on a fine paintbrush, which makes the pencil spread like ink. I told her about it because I had seen her trying to achieve a similar effect with a broken marker. So I think there are times when praise is a good thing, and I definitely agree that asking questions is really important and can help you give positive feedback for the future.

Feedback Thoughts: How to Still Write When Comments Freak You Out

(Photo from Pexels)

The first article I read was 5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like a Champ. They had some good advice, but I think this part was the most important take-away for me: "Use mindfulness and self-compassion to react in a productive way." In this section, they went on to say, "When we can treat ourselves with empathy, compassion, and believe we are "good enough" amidst or flaws and weaknesses--while still desiring growth and development--we make space for the painful feelings that come up when someone gives us feedback."

I think this is my biggest problem right now. I have mentioned that I write fan fiction and have a follower for my current story that gives criticism that is usually not constructive. Some of the things she says just plain hurt, because I feel like she is trying to force me to head in the direction she wants me to write in, to the point where she seems angry if I don't take her suggestions. In the end, I am the one writing the story, and I will write it how I want to. It's a community, and there is nothing wrong with making comments and suggestions. I need to learn how to handle the negative ones better, and learn how to respond better to them. There have been times when she has made good suggestions and we had a healthy discussion, and there have been times when I have had to say "this is how I see it for this story, and it's fine if you don't agree." The ongoing problem for me is that it's draining, and it makes me not want to write the story anymore. So while I have been trying to have more empathy for her and to see her and other people's perspectives, maybe I need to be showing myself more empathy and compassion as well, so that I can respond better to others without feeling overwhelmed.

The second article I read was Overcoming the Fear of Feedback. They listed the following steps as a good strategy for dealing with feedback.

1. Analyze the feedback,

2. Ask questions to better understand

3. Thank them

4. Strategize ways to improve based on your feedback

5. Set goals for yourself based on these strategies

I think they made some good points in this article. I especially agree with thanking the person for the feedback, even if it didn't feel positive. Maybe especially then, because if anything, making the effort to appreciate getting feedback and spending some time thinking about it can help you sort through what changes you may or may not need to make. It also shows the person that you are open and willing to consider other perspectives besides your own.