The setup of your website is much different than those I've seen so far. I think the dark background makes it sleek and also easier to read on a computer. So your main character is a Phantom Thief-Cat-Human-Maybe? That is very interesting. Oh, and the setting of the story is inside of people's minds. It is kind of cool that you have the pictures included as animation, because this kind of makes that true in real life. Animations are indeed created through the mind. I'm sure you wrote this story to be a real story, but I am enjoying reading it as a metaphor. Ah, and you included the 21st century in the story as well. I think it may feel more fantastical if you leave the technology out of it, but I'm sure some readers would enjoy the inclusion. The introduction is a little lengthy. I like the thoroughness, but there may be some information that could be pushed to your next story. It's kind of a punch in the face with information.
I like the set up to your website. Some changes could be made to make it easier to read, however it goes very well with the theme of your stories. I really like the detail you gave about how the process of being a phantom thief works and the alternate world or metaverse that your characters operate in. While I loved the detail myself, I feel that maybe your introduction was a bit too long, making it a bit shorter may improve the quality.
Okay so wow! You really have done an incredible job with your entire project! Seriously! Your entire website feels like it's apart of your project and not just a random blog (which is definitely what mine looks like so show me your ways!!) I loved how long and immersive the introduction is - you could have just written something really quickly but it really explains your project in it's entirety - which is super helpful since I don't know very much about Japanese myths! I also really liked that you included the animated pictures since Japan is sort of known for that because it made it all feel cohesive. You have clearly put a lot of work into this and it does not go un noticed! Great job and I can't wait to see more! Have a great week!
Thank you for all the nice comments! I will try to take a look at your site this week when I do comments. Maybe I can come up with a few suggestions for making the look of your website fit your project.
Hi Angela! I just read over the entries that you have posted on your storybook collection and I was very impressed with what you have so far. I also loved the way that the look of your site complemented the story itself so well as they went hand in hand. My one suggestion might be to not have the first sentence that you have on your stories where you tell the reader what you are going to read about. I think it would be more effective to simply tell the story as opposed to telling the reader what story you are going to tell them ahead of time. That way, the reader can read and be surprised as they go along and also interpret it for themselves to see how they respond to the story. I especially saw this in the way you wrote your first story. Aside from that, your character development is really incredible and your website was set up in a way that is easy to navigate and it adds to the mood of the story. Job well done!
Thank you! My first story originally didn't have the first sentence, because I wanted it to just unfold on its own, but Laura suggested that a transition might be needed in between the introduction and the start of the story. I added it for now, but if I were to post it anywhere outside of class I would probably remove it, because I think it gives away a lot and might spoil the surprise.
Hi there Angela! It's so nice to meet ya! Well I will say that your story topic of choice is quite different from other ones that I have seen. Granted, I have only been reading Mythology stories, so just because I can not see where you got your story motivation from does not mean that it doesn't exist! I am not familiar with any of the Indian Epics Readings, so I am sure that this follows along with something, based off of what I can see in your author's notes. I do appreciate the layout of your website. I can see that you have put a lot of time and effort into designing it, with all of your pictures. Plus, going with a totally black theme is such a bold choice! It definitely sets the mood for the stories. All I can say is to continue being informational in your writings, as it helps us readers who have no prior knowledge, come in an read them with ease. Good job so far! Happy Writing!
Hi Angela! Navigating your page is so nice! Everything is easily assessable. Your introduction is stellar! I love that it is written by your main character. He explains everything so well and really sets up your stories. Your first story is so vivid! In the beginning, I can picture them on a boat going through a rain storm and trying to receive a message, but the most important party is being cut out! You also did a fantastic job of developing your character's personality. As your story went on I felt like I got to know him more and more! The photos throughout your story also added to it.
Angela, your Storybook is coming together so nicely! You have already made a lot of progress. The introduction is great in that you explain things for us that we otherwise would not know and that are pertinent to the story. For example, you explain the unconscious city, Mementos. I thought it was really interesting that this city brings together people with similar cognitive disorders. I am wondering if you came up with this idea yourself, or if you borrowed this idea from the book that you wrote your story off of? Either way, it was a great idea to pick this story line to write on as it will keep readers enticed. You also explained personas and shadows, and the writing is very clear and the amount and quality of the dialogue helps us clearly picture the setting that you are trying to create for us. I just want to point out that the dialogue got squished together on the first story after the picture that is within the text. I always have to go back into my posts to edit them after originally publishing them. Anyway, great job on this project! You clearly care about it a lot.
Oh, thank you! I didn't even notice the text got squished together! Tumblr is much harder to format correctly than the other sites. I like using it, but it can really be a nightmare to make these story posts look exactly right.
Hey there Angela. I always start by just giving by first impressions of the blog site. I like that you have kept things simple for this story book. there isn't too much going on and it keeps it nice and tidy compared to being to cluttered. I would have to say, and it is probably just me, but I would remove the Archive tab from the left bar and add just a search function somewhere in the page. I enjoyed your use of lots of pictures and some dialogue in the individual stories. It was nice to see different stories that were narrated as first person all come together and create a cohesive story. I think that you have done a fantastic job with the amount of detail you have used and really setting the scene for the reader. Great Job, and I look forward to reading the final story of your book!
My first impression from the blog site itself, is that it looks amazing. I haven't seen a site that uses tumblr and I like that it is unique. The colors and design fit your topic nicely. It's very concise and clear and easily navigable. However, I was a bit confused by the archive tab at first because I haven't seen that before. You also used great pictures that enhance the stories greatly!
Your introduction really helped explain things that would have been hard to understand otherwise. You gave a great amount of detail and it worked out in your favor. The amount of dialogue used enhances the story.
By the end of reading your stories, I feel like I got to know your character very well. The whole idea behind the story is very creative. I can tell that you know a lot about the subject. Great job!
Hey Angela! Your webpage layout is really unique and it is also really easy to navigate, the best of both. The scheme is also really coherent and gives it a dark vibe, and after reading your story it seems to fit it really well. After reading your introduction it became very apparent that you will be providing some cool stories to read (and you did). One thing I would like to point out is diction and that is really good! After reading your first story I was hooked, not only because it was interesting, but also because it was easy to read. Your dialogue also added a lot to the story and gave the reader a little more depth into how the characters interact with each other. I was also unfamiliar with the source material, but your author's note did a great job of clearing that up too! All around it was a great story and a read!
The setup of your website is much different than those I've seen so far. I think the dark background makes it sleek and also easier to read on a computer. So your main character is a Phantom Thief-Cat-Human-Maybe? That is very interesting. Oh, and the setting of the story is inside of people's minds. It is kind of cool that you have the pictures included as animation, because this kind of makes that true in real life. Animations are indeed created through the mind. I'm sure you wrote this story to be a real story, but I am enjoying reading it as a metaphor. Ah, and you included the 21st century in the story as well. I think it may feel more fantastical if you leave the technology out of it, but I'm sure some readers would enjoy the inclusion. The introduction is a little lengthy. I like the thoroughness, but there may be some information that could be pushed to your next story. It's kind of a punch in the face with information.
ReplyDeleteI like the set up to your website. Some changes could be made to make it easier to read, however it goes very well with the theme of your stories. I really like the detail you gave about how the process of being a phantom thief works and the alternate world or metaverse that your characters operate in. While I loved the detail myself, I feel that maybe your introduction was a bit too long, making it a bit shorter may improve the quality.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments. What parts did you find hard to read?
DeleteOkay so wow! You really have done an incredible job with your entire project! Seriously! Your entire website feels like it's apart of your project and not just a random blog (which is definitely what mine looks like so show me your ways!!) I loved how long and immersive the introduction is - you could have just written something really quickly but it really explains your project in it's entirety - which is super helpful since I don't know very much about Japanese myths! I also really liked that you included the animated pictures since Japan is sort of known for that because it made it all feel cohesive. You have clearly put a lot of work into this and it does not go un noticed! Great job and I can't wait to see more! Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
DeleteThank you for all the nice comments! I will try to take a look at your site this week when I do comments. Maybe I can come up with a few suggestions for making the look of your website fit your project.
Hi Angela! I just read over the entries that you have posted on your storybook collection and I was very impressed with what you have so far. I also loved the way that the look of your site complemented the story itself so well as they went hand in hand. My one suggestion might be to not have the first sentence that you have on your stories where you tell the reader what you are going to read about. I think it would be more effective to simply tell the story as opposed to telling the reader what story you are going to tell them ahead of time. That way, the reader can read and be surprised as they go along and also interpret it for themselves to see how they respond to the story. I especially saw this in the way you wrote your first story. Aside from that, your character development is really incredible and your website was set up in a way that is easy to navigate and it adds to the mood of the story. Job well done!
ReplyDeleteHannah,
DeleteThank you! My first story originally didn't have the first sentence, because I wanted it to just unfold on its own, but Laura suggested that a transition might be needed in between the introduction and the start of the story. I added it for now, but if I were to post it anywhere outside of class I would probably remove it, because I think it gives away a lot and might spoil the surprise.
Hi there Angela! It's so nice to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteWell I will say that your story topic of choice is quite different from other ones that I have seen. Granted, I have only been reading Mythology stories, so just because I can not see where you got your story motivation from does not mean that it doesn't exist! I am not familiar with any of the Indian Epics Readings, so I am sure that this follows along with something, based off of what I can see in your author's notes.
I do appreciate the layout of your website. I can see that you have put a lot of time and effort into designing it, with all of your pictures. Plus, going with a totally black theme is such a bold choice! It definitely sets the mood for the stories.
All I can say is to continue being informational in your writings, as it helps us readers who have no prior knowledge, come in an read them with ease. Good job so far! Happy Writing!
Hi Angela!
ReplyDeleteNavigating your page is so nice! Everything is easily assessable. Your introduction is stellar! I love that it is written by your main character. He explains everything so well and really sets up your stories.
Your first story is so vivid! In the beginning, I can picture them on a boat going through a rain storm and trying to receive a message, but the most important party is being cut out!
You also did a fantastic job of developing your character's personality. As your story went on I felt like I got to know him more and more! The photos throughout your story also added to it.
Angela, your Storybook is coming together so nicely! You have already made a lot of progress. The introduction is great in that you explain things for us that we otherwise would not know and that are pertinent to the story. For example, you explain the unconscious city, Mementos. I thought it was really interesting that this city brings together people with similar cognitive disorders. I am wondering if you came up with this idea yourself, or if you borrowed this idea from the book that you wrote your story off of? Either way, it was a great idea to pick this story line to write on as it will keep readers enticed. You also explained personas and shadows, and the writing is very clear and the amount and quality of the dialogue helps us clearly picture the setting that you are trying to create for us. I just want to point out that the dialogue got squished together on the first story after the picture that is within the text. I always have to go back into my posts to edit them after originally publishing them. Anyway, great job on this project! You clearly care about it a lot.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you! I didn't even notice the text got squished together! Tumblr is much harder to format correctly than the other sites. I like using it, but it can really be a nightmare to make these story posts look exactly right.
DeleteHey there Angela. I always start by just giving by first impressions of the blog site. I like that you have kept things simple for this story book. there isn't too much going on and it keeps it nice and tidy compared to being to cluttered. I would have to say, and it is probably just me, but I would remove the Archive tab from the left bar and add just a search function somewhere in the page. I enjoyed your use of lots of pictures and some dialogue in the individual stories. It was nice to see different stories that were narrated as first person all come together and create a cohesive story. I think that you have done a fantastic job with the amount of detail you have used and really setting the scene for the reader. Great Job, and I look forward to reading the final story of your book!
ReplyDeleteHi Angela!
ReplyDeleteMy first impression from the blog site itself, is that it looks amazing. I haven't seen a site that uses tumblr and I like that it is unique. The colors and design fit your topic nicely. It's very concise and clear and easily navigable. However, I was a bit confused by the archive tab at first because I haven't seen that before. You also used great pictures that enhance the stories greatly!
Your introduction really helped explain things that would have been hard to understand otherwise. You gave a great amount of detail and it worked out in your favor. The amount of dialogue used enhances the story.
By the end of reading your stories, I feel like I got to know your character very well. The whole idea behind the story is very creative. I can tell that you know a lot about the subject. Great job!
Hey Angela!
ReplyDeleteYour webpage layout is really unique and it is also really easy to navigate, the best of both. The scheme is also really coherent and gives it a dark vibe, and after reading your story it seems to fit it really well.
After reading your introduction it became very apparent that you will be providing some cool stories to read (and you did).
One thing I would like to point out is diction and that is really good! After reading your first story I was hooked, not only because it was interesting, but also because it was easy to read. Your dialogue also added a lot to the story and gave the reader a little more depth into how the characters interact with each other. I was also unfamiliar with the source material, but your author's note did a great job of clearing that up too!
All around it was a great story and a read!