Week 6 Story: A Fox and an Oracle

(Photo from Pinterest)

It came to be that The Phantom Thieves were inside a palace, fighting a group of shadows.

“Good job, Fox, that was quite witty of you,” said Mona after the battle was finished.

Oracle snorted. “Fox?! Witty? I’ll believe that when I see it!”

“Hey, now,” Fox responded. “That is rather closed minded of you. Of course I am witty. My name even implies it.”

“Your name implies it? Umm, HELLO! My name is Oracle. Now that implies wit. Stupid Inari,” muttered Oracle.

“I beg your pardon,” Fox said, his voice beginning to rise above its usual soft tone. “There is absolutely no way that you are more witty than I am.”

“Ha! No, I am not ok with that! I am No-K!” Oracle shouted. “I-I… I challenge you to a… battle of wits!”

“A battle of wits?” Fox let a nefarious chuckle escape. “I accept your challenge.”

Skull rolled his eyes. “Oh man, not this again. You guys, we’re gonna be here all day if we let these two go at it.”

Joker just shrugged.

“Seriously?” Skull whined. “But mom was supposed to make my favorite dinner tonight.” He sighed and walked off, sulking.

“I think it sounds like a fun idea!” said Noir cheerfully. “Although, I happen to think that you’re both quite witty.”

“Oh no no,” Oracle said in a singsong voice, wagging her finger. “We are most definitely not matched in wit.”

“Agreed,” said Fox. “We will compete to see who is the wittiest of all.”

“And I will emerge victorious!” Oracle announced boldly.

Joker put his hand on the top of her head, which barely reached the center of his chest. “Calm down,” he said softly.

So The Phantom Thieves thought about what kind of challenge they could do while exploring the palace.

“Oooh, I know!” Oracle exclaimed. “Let’s ask that shadow up there to help divide up our ‘children’ in the divorce,” she said slyly.

“What?! You and I married? How preposterous,” glared Fox.

“Actually, that’s pretty perfect,” Joker said quietly. “Whoever outsmarts the shadow wins the title of Wittiest Thief.”

“Oh yeah, great idea!” Panther said with a smile. “Then we can finally go home!”

Fox and Oracle approached the shadow together. “Should we hold hands?” asked Fox. “We’re supposed to be married, aren’t we?”

“Eww, no! We’re getting a divorce, remember?!” Oracle said under her breath.

Fox cleared his throat and spoke to the shadow. “Hello kind sir. Would you be able to lend us some assistance?”

Joker and the other Thieves held their breath around the corner. It was entirely possible that the shadow would simply attack them. Thankfully, they were prepared to intervene at a moment’s notice.

The shadow snarled and drew its weapon. “Ahh!” Fox yelled, startled. He wasn’t sure how, but he ended up crouched behind Oracle’s tiny figure.

Oracle was not shaken at all. “My, what a lovely sword you have there. Say, we were thinking, since you’re so dark, tall and handsome, maybe you can solve a little disagreement for us. My… husband and I are getting a divorce, and we can’t decide how to split up our seven, umm, children. Think you can help?” she said with a mischievous smile.

“She’s a much better actress than you, Panther,” Skull whispered in the shadows.

“Shut up!” Panther whispered back, elbowing Skull in the ribs.

The shadow considered Oracle’s proposal for a moment. If he agreed to divvy up these so called kids, he could kill all of the intruders at once, instead of just these two. “Fine. Take me to the children.”

“Oh, great, right this way!” Oracle said loudly with a plastic smile. Then she whispered to the others, “safe room, go go go!” She and Fox led the shadow back to the nearest safe room, where the rest of the Thieves had run to. Fox, still in a panic, ran into the room behind them. Oracle stayed at the open door. “So? What do you think?” She smiled brightly as she began to close the door.

“Wait, what are you doing?” the shadow yelled as she slammed the door. He tried to open it but the palace’s distortion was too weak inside the room. There was no way to get in, and the intruders got away.

“Not bad, right?” Oracle asked, beaming at Joker. He smiled back proudly. “Inari? Don’t you have something to say to me?” Oracle spun towards him. He towered over her in height, yet he looked incredibly small at the moment.

“You are in fact much wittier than I,” Fox said, bowing before her.

“Whoo hoo, now that’s what I like to hear!” Oracle shouted happily. The Thieves all shared a laugh together as they walked back to the subway.

(Photo by Freinoir Art)

Author’s Note:

This story is based on A Fox and His Wife from Folklore of the Santal Parganas by Cecil Henry Bompas. In the original, the characters are an actual fox and his wife. Mr. Fox brags about how witty he is, but when faced with a tiger he panics. His wife outsmarts the tiger, asking it to follow them back to their hole to help them divide their five children between them. The tiger figures eating 7 foxes is even better than eating two, and is fooled by her flattery, so he agrees. When they arrive, Mrs. Fox backs down the hole having outsmarted the tiger, as it can’t reach into such a small space. In my version, I have used characters from the game Persona 5. Fox and Oracle are constantly bickering, so I figured they would disagree on which one of them has more wit. In the game, the group they belong to, the Phantom Thieves, can enter into a person’s cognitive “palace” if said person develops a distortion. In the palace they would fight shadows, including the shadow self belonging to the palace owner. Rooms within the palace are referred to as safe rooms because the distortion is not as strong in those spots. This allows the Thieves to take refuge, because the shadows can’t follow them inside. I thought it would be fun to have Oracle live up to her wise name by outsmarting a shadow when she leads it to a safe room and slams the door in its face.


A Fox and His Wife from Folklore of the Santal Parganas by Cecil Henry Bompas. Web Source.